Crossing the Red Line: Friendship to Romance

One of the most difficult things in life is being in love with your friend. Friendship is very similar to romantic love. You have to spend time with your sweetheart as much as, if not more, you do with your friends. You have to treat them with kindness and consideration. You worry about your partner and your friends whenever they are in trouble. You can even claim that you can't live without either of them. But one thing remains different. You may be expressing the same intensity of love but the kind of love you give to your partner and to your friend are certainly different. This makes crossing the line extremely difficult. You have already built your relationship with him or her as a friend. Crossing the line can break it anytime, if things go unpleasant.

Unfortunately, not all people realize this difference so easily. People who are in love with their friends end up so confused and asking a lot of questions about how they truly feel. If you're one of these people, here are some od the telltale signs that you are indeed in love with your best friend.

Are you physically or sexually attracted to your friend? No, it's not the same as asking yourself if you find him/her goodlooking or sexy. The issue here is if you are attracted to your friend. Lust is a critical ingredient in romantic love that is missing in friendship. If you can imagine yourself making love with your friend, you are either a pervert or really in love.

Of course, you long for both your friends and your partner. But there is a huge difference between the two. Longing for a friend is missing him/her and wanting him/her to be with you. Longing for love is wanting to do everything to be at his/her side. It's the drive that makes the difference. As much as it hurts, we love our friends because we can use one another. Love is selfless. Unlike friends, we don't want our partner to be with us when we are hurt because we know it can hurt him/her, too.

When you think about the future with your friend, what do you see? If you see yourself watching movies together and sharing anecdotes on a sunny afternoon years from now, you are safe. But if you can see yourself sharing one roof and building a family with your friend, then you are officially in love with him/her. Think about it. Think about your future. What do you see?

There's nothing wrong with being in love with a friend. It's just that you need to be careful because you may not have any idea of how much you are risking just to cross the line. Being in love is not just spitting it out. It's also about caring for how he/she feels, not just for you, but for himself/herself.